From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2012 22:50:38 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: Uncertain Darkness (BTC) by Ziggy
Source: revision

Reply To: ziggyfic@aol.com

Title: Uncertain Darkness (BTC: Darkness Falls)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Mulder/Scully
Spoilers: Darkness Falls.  Oh! And a tiny, baby one for Jersey Devil
Notes: This was for the "Bad Touch Challenge" which involves 
our two favorite agents somehow hooking up in each 
author's assigned episodes.  Since this was a first season 
episode, and given the episodes I got, I just didn't 
feel this one needed a hardcore NC-17 rating.  
Mulder and Scully are still in the formation 
of their relationship. I wanted to play 
on that. Not beta'd.
Disclaimer: Chris, 1013, blah, blah, blah.
XxX
It was when the generator when off that 
anyone thought to ask.   Mulder had just gotten 
the radio working and hope of survival seemed
 possible.  Really possible.  He'd only gotten to 
send out a distress call to two frequencies and 
he wasn't sure anyone had heard.  Throwing 
down the now useless radio receiver, he and 
Scully headed out of the cabin down to the generator.

"What happened the generator?" Mulder said to
 Larry Moore, the ranger who'd come with them on
 this "little trip to the forest". He was standing next 
to the orange contraption.

"I turned it off," Moore said.  Mulder shook his
 head, "Turn it back on. I got the radio working."

"What happened to the gas can?" Moore 
suddenly asked, looking between the two agents.

There was a pause and Mulder supplied, 
looking back at him, "Spinney took it."

"He took it?" Moore questioned, astonished
 by the answer he'd received, "You mean he's gone?"

"He left earlier this morning..." Mulder said, a
 slight hint of defense in his voice.  He'd made the
 decision solely and he knew, when he'd made it, 
that he'd have to answer to his other group members,
"He took a battery and some gas. He's
 gonna come back for us in the morning."

Moore stunned expression turned to an 
angered disbelief, "Yeah, what, he gave you his personal 
guarantee on that?"

"He gave me his word, yeah," Mulder 
responded, attempting to remain confident in his previous choice. 

Moore stepped closer to Mulder, talking with
 a slowed pace, as if explaining something to
 a nitwit, a dunce.  Mulder squared his jaw 
and listened as Moore clearly defined his 
inner monologue,  "Did you stop to think
 that the man who gave you his word had 
made an art out of sabotage? And defying
 authority? And is probably the same man who 
put the bullet through my windshield?"

Mulder suddenly stuck out an arm, palm open 
as if asking for help, towards Scully. His words 
aimed at the ranger, "Well, what would you have 
done? At least now we've got one chance of
 getting out of here alive which is one more chance
 than we had before."

Moore scoffed, "Or one less."

Throughout the entire moment, Scully had been silent.  
She hadn't known Mulder for very long, having only been 
partnered with him for less than a year.  She'd come to 
quickly realize that Mulder was a man of deep, provocative
 thought but very little self control.  For such a smart man,
 he made very stupid decisions but she couldn't believe he'd
 make a decision like this.  As of now, all she could manage
 was to listen and get her head around it and to figure out
 what they were going to do next.  When Moore had made
 his final comment, it had pulled her from her own thoughts. 
She looked at him, even headed, 

"What do you mean?"

Moore was clearly still very agitated and his 
voice was still hostile, his movements jerky, 
"Your partner let Spinney leave with the last of the gas. 
This generator's got about a quarter tank left, maybe less."

Mulder's heart suddenly felt significantly heavier than 
it did before.  He hadn't considered the amount still left
 in the generator.  The assumption had been it was full
 thus giving them enough light to make it through the night.

"What about the gas in the trucks?" Scully questioned.

Mulder answered before Moore did. His tone low, 
defeated, "There is no more gas, the other tanks have
 all been ruptured or filled with sugar."

Moore looked over at the other man seeing clearly
 that Mulder realized the extent of his decision and 
what it might mean, "By the same man who we are 
now trusting to keep his word and come back for us."

"Well, then we've got to get back on the radio," Scully said,
 having found that as their only viable option, "we've got to 
send out a mayday."

Moore shook his head, eyes still turned towards Mulder, a 
serious implication in them, "Every drop of fuel we waste is 
fuel that's gonna' keep this gennie powered tonight. I mean, I don't
 want to be waiting around hoping somebody heard that transmission 
when this thing quits running about two o'clock in the morning."

Moore finally looked towards Scully, his 
words sinking into both the agents.

"Do you?"

Mulder and Scully were silent as Moore turned and headed 
up the small slope back to the cabin.  He had to prepare
 for the night if they were even going to attempt to make it 
through.  Each agent contemplated the rest of the night
 until Scully finally looked towards Mulder.  
He looked back.  Then, without a word, he headed up
 the cabin's way just as Moore had.  Leaving Scully
 to stand beside the temporary generator.

Entering the cabin, Mulder walked past a
 busy Moore who was searching for 
rations and light  sources to help them
 fend off the little green baddies who'd 
infested darkness itself.  Going into one of the bedrooms,  
Mulder took a seat on one of the cots.  He needed a
 few moments to feel pathetic.

Putting his head in his hands, he sat there for a moment,
 thinking.  It had seemed such a noble answer; to let 
Spinney go with the gas.  Surely, Spinney would be back. 
 He couldn't leave people stranded up here. Especially not 
after what he'd seen those bugs do.  Mulder's motto had 
been "trust no one" and yet he'd felt a certain longing to 
trust... and when he finally gave in to the urge, it always 
seemed to backfire.

It had been easy to trust Scully.  She'd really 
been the only person, in a long time, he'd
 trusted and she hadn't made him regret it yet. 
 And now, Mulder thought, she'd trusted him.  She 
had trusted him and he'd doomed her to a cocooned 
fate in the middle of the forest.   A part of Mulder 
wasn't surprised to see himself go a way similar to this.  
Unusual and unpleasant. He'd known her less than a year 
and he'd already sentenced her to be locked in his own 
crypt.  Doomed for  all eternity with Spooky Mulder.

The door creaked open and Mulder looked only for a 
nanosecond.  Upon seeing the large, denim shirt and 
the fluff of red hair, he turned his face away.  He wasn't 
sure he could look at her quite yet.  Scully entered slowly, 
waiting to see Mulder's reaction.  When she realized she'd
 have to speak first, she took a moment to find her words,

"Mulder..."

He cut her off, already defensive, "Look, it's done. I shouldn't
 have let him go. Let's just move past it, okay?"

Scully nodded her head.  He was right, she had to admit that. 
Talking about it wasn't going to change the course of the night. 
 They needed a plan but it didn't change the fact that she was
 angry, "Fine," she said, showing only slight 
irritation, "What do you suggest?"

There was a pause and Mulder weakly 
replied, "I don't know. We'll think of something."

Scully's shoulders sagged as the pathetic reply, "Look," she 
said, "I think we both have a pretty good idea of
 what happened to those loggers and what 
happened to the group in 1934."

As she spoke, Mulder stood and crossed her
 towards the door.  As he passed her he 
said, "We only found one cocoon."

His hand reached for the knob and she 
replied smoothly, "It's a big forest..."

Mulder turned sharply on Scully.  His voice
 losing all it's martyr-like defense and 
becoming aggressive, "Look, Scully, what 
would you have done?"

Scully stared at Mulder for a second.  Her own 
feeling being fueled by his.  She clenched her
 jaw and said calmly but matching the intensity 
in his voice, "You mean, would I have made a 
decision by myself that would have affected the whole group?"

"Oh, will you cut the sanctimonious crap?" Mulder snapped.

With no more to say, Scully responded bluntly, "Well, what
 do you want me to say? Let's face it, Mulder, we might die 
up here! If we're lucky, they'll find our bodies spun up in a
 tree or they may not find us at all!"

Mulder and her looked at each other for a moment 
after that.  They hadn't really said it before and 
Mulder felt that crushing weight in his chest again. 
 That overpowering sense of guilt and his own fear 
as the impending darkness grew closer.

He finally spoke, "You're right. And we're wasting
 time arguing about it."

Scully looked down at the door, unable to meet his
 eyes any longer.  Mulder continued to watch her 
before taking a hesitant step closer. Impulse 
decisions had gotten in him trouble before but
 with untimely death looming just over the horizon, 
he wasn't sure it mattered much more.  Reaching out 
a hand, he gently touched her cheek and neck.  
Just the pads of his fingers touched the delicate
 skin.  Blue eyes slowly rose to his, a questioning
 brow above them.  Mulder greeted the look but
 offered to explanation.  His hand made a slow but steady
 move to the back of her head and he pulled her to him.

Dana Scully was a beautiful woman.  There was no 
questioning that.  He'd known it the day she'd come 
into his office and he knew it now but that wasn't 
just the only thing that appealed so much to Mulder.  
Sure, the beauty certainly helped but it was the possibilities
 that fascinated.  There was a lot about Dana Katherine Scully 
that Mulder did not know.  Not just intimate details either, 
like how she takes her coffee, what her family is like, her favorite 
pizza topping.  Those were things picked up in time 
and they had just simply not had the time. No, 
there was so much about what made Scully... well, 
Scully that Mulder didn't know.  He wasn't sure 
he'd get to now.   But he knew she was full 
of possibilities. 

In Scully, Mulder had seen a friend.  
A true companion.  She seemed genuine, the 
real McCoy.  Was she? Or was she just another plant? 

Someone there to undermine and ruin his
 work? He hoped not.  He wanted to believe
 she was there with only good intent and honest 
opinion. He supposed he may never uncover the
 real reason Dana Scully had come into his life but
 as of now, with so little time left, all he  wanted was to kiss her.

Holding her to him, Mulder pressed his lips to hers 
with no intent to stop.  Her hands were out at her 
sides, attempting not to touch the man in front of
 her and her body was tense with surprise. For a
 moment, she almost felt like she was misinterpreting 
the scene, as if she wasn't being kissed by her
 partner but instead was in the middle of some 
survival trick or Muldereqse game. At the feel
 of his tongue against her closed lips, her brain 
jumbled itself out of it's confusion.  Her mouth 
opened slowly and her eyes drifted shut.  Scully
 allowed herself to relax under his attention.  
Mulder's hand left her head and they both 
went to grip her hips, pulling her closer to him 
and against his straining jeans.

The force of his pull caused Scully's hands to rest 
on Mulder's biceps in an attempt to keep balance. 
 When she felt his erection, Scully's brain did another 
overhaul.  It suddenly zapped her with both an intense 
arousal, a warmth starting in the pit of her stomach and
 growing out, and a sudden realization of what was 
happening.  Mulder held her tightly, though, deepening
 the kiss with the best of his ability as she pulled her head 
back, away from his demanding lips. 

"Dana..." he pleaded as she separated herself from him.  His 
hands still held her.  His attempted to pull her too him again 
but her hand went to the center of his chest, stopping him.

"Mulder," she stated quietly and he stopped his advances 
towards her.  A clear disappointment and befuddlement 
on his features.  Scully took a deep breath, her body still 
held against Mulder's. It was getting difficult to think clearly. 
 But this... this was not like her.  It wasn't Mulder.  Mulder
 was brilliant, handsome (she'd told her friend Ellen that 
not too long ago in fact) and he was unusual and passionate.  
He was very different then most of the men she'd known 
and certainly different from most of the men she'd stood here 
with.  Scully liked that.  She liked being able to be this close to 
Mulder, to kiss him and smell him.  He smelt like pine and dirt from
 the forest.  It was excellent.

Something seemed wrong, though.  As if the act
 was right but not the time. Not the place.  As if they 
could be transplanted to a different location at a different
 time, in this exact position and it would be 
correct. This wasn't though. 

"Dana," he whispered again, "Please."

Scully looked to him now, seeing the longing on face.  
Licking her already tender lips, she took a breath before speaking,

"Mulder... we can't. I-I want to but we can't."

"Why not?" Mulder questioned, looking to 
her for relief.  He spoke again, his voice low and honest.
  He spoke from his own loneliness and desire, "You said 
it yourself, Dana, we might not make it out of here. I... There
 aren't a lot of people I- well, that I can trust.  I trust you,
 though, and I feel..." Mulder paused again, hesitant to 
continue but Scully's face remained compassionate and
 he went on, "I feel a type of connection with you, Dana. 
I feel like there is something about you and, whatever it is,
 I know I need to be grateful for it."

Scully listened carefully as Mulder spoke, feeling a 
growth of admiration for the confession.  Scully took 
a deep breath and let herself smile ever so slightly.  
It was a sad smile but a smile nonetheless. 

"I know. I feel the same way," she answered and 
Mulder's eyes flickered, "That's why we can't, 
Mulder.  I think... I think you and I have a lot of 
ahead of us.  And when we get out of here -" 
she made a emphasis on the words "- we can't let 
this ruin whatever we're destined for."

Mulder's hands slowly left Scully's hips, releasing
 her from his hold.  She was right.  Mulder knew it. 
 The feeling he was suddenly overcome with
 comforted him in an odd way.  He looked into 
Scully's blue eyes and she looked back at him.  
A quiet acceptance and understanding passing between 
them.  Mulder lightly smiled as the prospect of whatever 
the future had to hold with Scully, an honest companion, 
by his side. Leaning in once more, Mulder kissed her forehead,
 a last goodbye to the moment they had just shared and were 
not to again until the Gods bade it so. 

Pulling away a last time, Mulder walked over to the window, 
looking out at the quiet forest.  They were going 
to make it through the night.  He wasn't sure how
 but they'd do it.

He could hear Scully come up behind 
him, "What are you going to do?" she asked hesitantly. 

Mulder stared out into the woods for a few
 more moments before responding, his tone 
one of purpose, "Button this place up. If we're
 gonna spend the night in here, we've got to do 
everything we can to make sure the bugs stay out there."

He looked over at her as he finished talking, 
Scully nodded and stepped to the window beside him.  

The two agents looked out, preparing 
themselves for the night ahead and whatever may follow.

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