From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Sat, 2 Jun 2012 16:12:10 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: The Moment: Season One (1/2) by Tessa Moore
Source: direct
Reply To: tess.moore.xf@gmail.com
The Moment: Season One (1/2)
By Tessa Moore
Disclaimer: They sho' ain't mine!
Summary: The Mulder and Scully relationship, as
it develops OFF screen.
_____________________________________________________
I.
For Mulder, airports were a comfortable zone. No one
could bother him in an airport - no one cared to. Those
who strolled by him were more concerned with their
own travelling needs. His superiors couldn't reach him.
Fellow agents couldn't ridicule him without risking
too much exposure. It was a world where not a single
person cared about Fox Mulder.
It was tempting to think that no one cared, anyway. He
was ruminating as he sat in the tormented and dirty
orange bucket chair, waiting for his flight to board.
Truth was, if no one cared about him, no one would
talk about him. But, they all talked about him with
fervent enthusiasm. What was the saying? Any publicity
is good publicity? Mulder chuckled. Maybe he should
do himself a favor and just take out advertising.
When someone sat down in the seat next to him, he
said nothing. He didn't need to look up, either. He
knew those shoes already. He continued to chuckle to
himself, continuing to stare at the floor, hunched
over his knees. He had been looking for a way to
demonstrate to her that he didn't want or need her there.
Telling her to her face hadn't worked - it had only
gotten him chewed out. He hadn't counted on her being
a fighter. He could still hear her outraged voice:
"That was uncalled for, Agent Mulder. If you're looking
to play dirty, I'm not above it, but I've done nothing
to warrant the hell you obviously have planned for me."
Then, he'd really let his inner-asshole come out to
play: "What's the matter, Scully? Can't take it?
Afraid to dish it, too? Maybe you should go back to
Quantico and come back when you're ready for the
real world."
He'd felt childish. He liked to consider himself an
intellectual, but sometimes his behavior made even him
wonder. To Scully's credit, she'd handled him just the
way she should have: She simply shook her head and
walked away. It infuriated him that he couldn't get
the best of her.
Suddenly, her sensible gray shoes and pale feet next to
him were very interesting. He almost laughed again. He'd
never met someone who tried so hard. He wondered how her
classmates had felt about her at Quantico. He could
picture her, running the track at the Academy - Her
posture rigid and screaming of "untouchable", but her
face scrubbed clean and adorable; Her hair, tied back
tightly and flapping in the wind while she ran at a
sprint to keep up with her male colleagues' longer
strides. His own thoughts hadn't been kind when she
walked into his office. But, she was the ultimate
enigma.
Her files had presented her as Dr. Scully: professional
woman, Medical Doctor, Scientist, terribly green around
the gills, but ready for a go at being a real agent. She
taught classes at Quantico, which meant she had to know
what she was doing, be able to convey it to others, and
be capable of managing a classroom full of men who likely
saw her as an oject rather than an instructor, steering
a discussion, opening a forum of opinion. He had been
impressed that a woman of her limited age and experience
had come to be in the position she was.
But, what was it that made her turn to the field? While
pouring over her files prior to their meeting, a slew
of theories were floating around in his head. Was she
looking to prove herself? Move up the ladder? Or was
she simply looking for a little excitement? It had to
be better than looking at corpses day in and out...
Was she hand picked to break him? Was it a deal - get
Spooky Mulder out and we'll move you on up? Maybe she
was simply bored in her assignment...
The questions were compounded when he first saw her.
Amid the dimness and clutter of the basement office, she
blended in like a chameleon. He couldn't decide whether
it was her suit or stature. He hadn't been expecting that.
In order to make it through the academy, one had to be able
to carry the largest member of the class through an
obstacle course in due pace. She looked like a stiff
breeze could take her out. Was she sleeping with someone?
It wasn't a nice thought, but it was a relevant one. When
he saw the defiant tilt of her chin and the pride in her
eyes, he decided that wasn't the case. She had simply
muddled through like everyone else.
He also hadn't expected such a disarming charm coming from
her. Previous attempts to shut his division down had
resulted in boring, overbearing partners who looked like
they'd rather beat him to death than help solve a thing.
In her eyes, he had only seen curiosity, a hunger for work
and challenge. When was the last time he'd seen that look
in his office? He didn't think he ever had.
"Agent Mulder?"
Her voice snapped him back to reality. He
looked up into Dana Scully's face, surprised all over again.
She was pretty, luminous almost. He could forgive the ugly
shoes and suit when he looked into her eyes. They had a
hypnotic quality to them. Her shiny, but mousy hair slid
down to obscure her face as she noticed his scrutiny and
blushed accordingly. She cleared her throat.
"Are you alright?" She tried her best to sound like an
authoritative agent, but her girliness still bled through
unchecked.
He nodded. "Ready for a wild ride, Scully?" His voice was
teasing.
She tilted her head in question, and he continued to grin.
He couldn't deny that she was cute, and he couldn't deny
that she was intelligent. She was eager, willing, and
ready. He had a feeling about her, alright.
__________________________________________________________
Part II.
She didn't want him to see that she was shaking. It wasn't
a chase through a back alley, or a struggle for her life. It
was a hearing with the Office of Professional Conduct.
Thankfully, Scully thought, she wasn't facing charges. She
was dismayed to feel that she was, though, after the scene
Colton had made. Now that the hearing was concluded, she
stood in the hallway with Mulder, not really certain what
had happened,but knowing that she wanted to cry very badly.
'This is not High School, Dana... Rumors are rumors', she
thought to herself, taking a deep breath.
"Hey.." Mulder leaned in and whispered into her ear, catching
her attention before the first teardrop could fall. "Not here."
It was all he said, as he gently took her arm and led her
from the building. She didn't ask where they were going, and
he didn't seem to be in the mood to share. She made quick
work of getting to his car and said nothing while he drove.
The ride to Alexandria was quicker than normal. Traffic was
quite tame in the early afternoon. Scully took the opportunity
to enjoy the surroundings passing her.
The silence in the car was companionable. Scully laughed
internally at the thought that she'd been working with Mulder
for a few months, now, but still knew very little about him.
She admitted to herself that his 'fly by the seat of your
pants' approach excited her more than she'd like. She didn't
care where he was taking her; the fact that it wasn't
within the Hoover building both thrilled and relieved her.
When he pulled the car to a stop at an apartment complex,
Scully looked at him with curiosity. It was a mid-sized brick
building, a little on the old side. The sign out front read
"Hegal Place".
"Mulder, is this your apartment?"
He looked at her and nodded silently.
Scully flashed him a disarming smile. "I'm touched."
She felt like she was being silly, but she knew how much
Mulder guarded his privacy. She couldn't help but be excited
by him bringing her to his own home. They'd only been
partnered for a handful of cases, and he was always difficult
to read. Mostly, she wasn't sure where she stood with him.
Since their initial blow-out of a fight, he'd been respectful
and pleasant, but not overly friendly.
"Come on", he gestured her out of the car, then guided her
up to the apartment.
She didn't know what she'd been expecting, but the apartment
itself was mediocre. Mulder's housekeeping habits, however,
were abhorrent. Strewn about the small apartment were various
take-out containers, a tower of pizza boxes, various items of
clothing and underwear, and a mountain of paperwork.
"Do you eat anything other than take-out, Mulder?" She was
incredulous.
He simply shrugged. "Sit down, Scully." He pointed to the couch.
"I've got some questions for you."
Scully suddenly felt his mood shift. Though he'd been quiet
on the trip over, he'd been amiable. Now, she could feel
anger radiating from him. Had she done something? Perhaps
she'd completely misinterpreted his reasons for bringing her
here. Her brows knit in confusion.
"What the hell happened with Colton, Scully?" Mulder dropped
down into the couch beside her.
She had nearly forgotten the painful hearing just an hour
earlier. She shook her head, feeling the emotion of the day
hit her once more. She said nothing.
Mulder waited for a response, but tapped his foot nervously.
"Look, I haven't known you all that long, but I DO know that
you're not an easy crier. And those were tears making their
way out in that hallway. I want to know what happened, so I
can have an excuse to go kill the little asshole."
Unexpectedly, Scully laughed. It was a full-bellied guffaw,
completely unhinged, not the usual chuckle she confined
herself to when he let out a bad joke. And she continued
to laugh, hard. Mulder couldn't help but laugh with her.
He reveled in the diffusing of the situation, the tension
leaching from both their bodies in the companionable
laughter.
"Oh, Mulder..." She was catching her breath. "I had
convinced myself that you were suspicious of me, or somehow
angry with me... I was ready for a confrontation... and then
THAT came out of your mouth."
Mulder just watched her, enjoying the look of freedom on her
face. In fact, he took the moment to take her in. Her hair
had changed. It was shorter, more red. Her suits were still
awful, but he didn't think he could fault her anything when
he looked at her honest little face. She would probably kill
him if he said these things TO that honest little face.
"Colton may be an asshole, Mulder, but you won't need to
kill him. He's just a miserable little man, who happened to
make an attempt to take me down with him. And as for the
tears... It was a moment of weakness." Scully smiled,
eternally reasonable.
"I'd still like to know what he did... I'm going to hate
him either way. At least give me some ammunition, Scully."
His voice was teasing, but he couldn't help but think that
all he really needed was an excuse to beat the shit out of
Colton.
Scully sighed. "Its complicated. Colton wanted to
demonstrate that my performance on the job is inconsistent
and that my focus is lacking. In other words, he wanted to
paint a picture that I was responsible for Tooms attacking
me - not his lack of professionalism and forsight in
calling off the stake out. So, he played dirty. He used our
friendship at Quantico to further his cause."
Scully looked down at her lap, not sure she wanted to say
any more. Mulder tilted his head, finding her eyes again.
"You can say anything to me, Scully. It doesn't leave
this room." His voice was deadly serious.
She sighed again, wrapping her arms around herself and
turning to face him. "I made a mistake. At the Academy,
things got stressful. I was so tired, so ready for it to
end. I'd been seeing someone outside the bureau. It didn't
pan out when he figured out I wasn't available on every
whim. It hurt. I don't choose partners easily, and I don't
trust easily. So, when someone decides to leave me, I go
a little nuts. He'd already been seeing someone else for
months, because he didn't know how to tell me."
Mulder was still quiet. His mind was working full-force,
somewhat surprised by what she was sharing. He'd always
seen Scully as something of a solitary character. Maybe
she was just forced to be, by the circumstances of bad
experiences. It didn't escape him that her vulnerability
could be used as a weapon - by more insidious people than
Tom Colton.
"Anyway, Colton was supposedly there for me. He stayed
with me for a couple days, made sure I was OK. On day
3, he talked me into sleeping with him. He claimed he
understood, that he didn't care, that he just wanted
to help me move on. We agreed that we'd pretend it never
happened. And we did. Until now. How could he do this,
Mulder? Was he holding this as potential ammunition since
day one? I'm sick when I think about the fact that he was
likely waiting for the day when he'd finally get to use
it against me."
She was shaking her head. "He claimed that I was already
sleeping with you... that I sleep with everyone. In his
mind, there's no other explanation for my success or for
my staying with you. And I know that its all rumors,
and that OPR will likely see past his desperation and
look more toward my professional record for guidance.
But, sometimes I think I'm living in an eternal High
School; The never ending parade of mean girls and
manipulative boys. When does everyone finally grow up,
Mulder?"
Mulder soaked it all in, feeling the rage building in
him again. In his mind, she was an innocent. She was
terribly naive, but strong enough to admit to her
naivete after the fact. Her honesty was staggering,
and he found himself surprised by her again.
"I'm not going to kill him... But I'd really like to
castrate him. Don't every let me near that son of a bitch
again, Scully."
She laughed again, and Mulder though she had a sick
sense of humor.
_________________________________________________________
III.
The diner was mostly empty, despite the high noon lunch
hour. A portly waitress with an exceedingly friendly
face bent over the deserted bar, quietly completing a
crossword puzzle, while a couple truckers laughed jovially
over their greasy lunch.
It was a normal, sunshine-infused day just outside of
New Jersey. Mulder and Scully sat at the farthest
corner booth in the small diner, both of them
somewhat slumped and rumpled enough to keep the waitress
away unless called. Chasing a beastwoman through the
Jersey woods apparently didn't do much for personal
appearance. Having finished up with the local PD the
day before and taking exhaustion into account, the
agents had mutually decided it best if they stayed
the night before heading back to DC. They hadn't
thought about how unfortunate it would feel to wake
up sore and don their same dirt-smeared suits left
over from the day before.
"So..." Mulder set his fork down. "What now, Scully?"
He looked at her expectantly, and she smirked back at
him. He obviously couldn't stand the silence any more.
Sometimes, she thought Mulder didn't know what to do if
he wasn't talking.
"Well, I suppose we'll be like normal people. We'll go
home, do laundry until the weekend is over, and then
come back to work on Monday and start all over again."
She was still smiling.
"Is that really normal, or is that just us?" Mulder
chucked. "God, Scully... We're boring."
Scully nodded. "I don't know about 'boring'. I think I
had dinner with the most boring man in the world night
before last"
Mulder's smile disappeard. "That's too bad... You didn't
mention anything about that. I thought the date went
well."
Scully paused to consider her answer. "The truth is...
That I really wanted the date to go well. Wanting and
being are often two very different things. He was
very nice... good looking. He treated me well, and was
thoughtful. But he was so unremarkable. He's an
accountant. I didn't have the heart to tell him that
I'd rather poke my own eyeball out with a fork than
have his career, although his kid is cute."
Mulder chuckled. "What's the matter, Scully? If its
not a genetic mutant or otherwise disgusting oddity
of the universe, it doesn't interest you anymore?"
He flashed her a charming smile, and she could feel a
blush rising.
"Well, I wouldn't say *that*, Mulder..." Suddenly,
the remnants of her food were of extreme importance.
"Seriously, Scully... What exactly are you looking for
in a man?" His eyebrows waggled suggestively.
Scully laughed out loud. "You know, I think that's the
problem, Mulder. I don't know *what* I want... and to
top it all off, he has to be able to tolerate my
profession, my need to always be right, my obsessive
tendencies... I'm asking for a lot, you know?" She
was smiling openly.
Mulder chucked. "Oh, I don't know, Scully... I think
there's a possiblity that someone might even
volunteer for the position."
"What do you look for, Mulder?"
He cleared his throat. "Oh, you know... Tall, nice
smile, great butt... the usual." He suddenly looked
entirely uncomfortable. "Oh, and she has to be cool
with the whole alien thing."
"I'll keep my eyes peeled for her, Mulder." Scully
chuckled, getting up from the booth. Mulder quietly
stared at his empty plate, digesting the conversation
that'd just taken place. Shaking his head, he got up
and followed her to the cash register and uncommonly
friendly hostess.
_____________________________________________________
IV.
Mulder looked back at Scully with pity as she made
her way up the stairs, groaning in protest. He
almost chuckled when she grabbed her lower back and
bent slightly for relief.
"That's it, Mulder... I'm moving somewhere with an
elevator. Right Now." She hissed again as she finished
ascending the last flight of stairs.
"What's the matter, Scully? Getting too old for this
crap yet?" He did chuckle. "Should I carry you?"
"Its not funny, Mulder..." She sighed again. "Okay,
maybe its funny now that I'm NOT being sucked through
an air duct at the speed of light and almost chopped
into tiny pieces by the ventilation fan. I can say
that I may not be able to see the humor of the
situation until I've finished a cup of tea and had
a scalding hot bath. Maybe then I won't feel like
killing you for sending me up there..."
This time Mulder laughed out loud. "Come on, let's
get you cleaned up."
She made quick work of the lock at her door and
silently waved him in. Mulder was a little surprised
when she began dropping clothes the moment she was
in the door. By the time he made it to the couch,
she was already down to her tank top and pants,
having shed her shoes, socks, shirt and oversized
plaid pullover. He momentarily wondered if he could
burn the large plaid shirt without her noticing,
but then decided that she probably had an arsenal
of them in her closet.
"I'm taking a bath, Mulder..." She called from her
bedroom.
"Should I take off?" He felt somewhat awkward.
"No, that's ok.. But would you start some hot water
for tea? You can help yourself to anything you'd
like in the fridge."
With that, he heard the bathroom door close with
a 'thunk'.
He immediately got up from the couch and headed
to the kitchen. After a seconds' hesitation, he
began collecting the pieces of clothing and shoes
from the floor. He knew how Scully lived: a place
for everything and everything in its place. She'd
be irritated with herself that she left her things
on the floor.
He made quick work of staring the kettle heating,
then moved on to the fridge. He was surprised to
find twelve non-lite beers lined up like little
soldiers. "Scully... you know what I like", he
said under his breath.
He hummed under his breath as he quietly searched
for the bottle opener. With every drawer opened,
he found that she was almost obsessively organized;
One step away from buying a label-maker and neatly
labeling a place for everything in her own home.
"The drawer next to the stove." Her quiet voice
startled him. He looked up to see Scully leaning
against the refrigerator. Her hair was a wet mop,
and she had changed into a ratty t-shirt and
tight running pants. He smiled to her, thinking
she couldn't look any younger if she tried. She
spent so much of her time trying to age herself
in exchange for respect in the workplace. Sometimes
he forgot that in any other setting, she'd be just
a young, tiny... girl.
"That was a quick bath..." His voice was quiet.
"Yeah, well... I had to make sure you weren't
burning my house down, Mulder. With you, I never
know."
He laughed. "I think your water's almost ready."
She nodded. "Let's go watch some TV and wait for
it. My mother would never forgive me if she knew
I let guests leave my home without a cup of tea."
Mulder chuckled again. After ten minutes of
watching the news in companionable silence, Scully
was sound asleep, sitting upright with her head
slung back, and lightly snoring. Mulder smiled at
the image, knowing that she'd die if she could see
herself.
When the tea kettle began whistling, Mulder
quickly ran to the kitchen and moved it before it
could wake her. Turning the lights off on his way,
he found her still sleeping upright when he
returned. With a smile, he coaxed her sideways
until she finally sighed, fell into one of the
couch pillows, and continued to snore.
"G'night, Scully..." He whispered to her while
covering her with the tasteful floral throw
sitting on the back of the couch.
Noiselessly, he let himself out of the apartment
and made his way home for the night.
________________________________________________
End Part I of Season One. Part II to follow tomorrow.
This is a series; It will follow all seasons of
the show and include the movies.
The Moment: Season One (2/2)
By Tessa Moore
Disclaimer: They're not mine!
Summary: The progression of Mulder and Scully's
relationship OFF camera. This is a series -- it
will follow each season.
____________________________________________
V.
The air in the cabin of the plane was tense,
at least in the space surrounding the two agents.
Neither were quite sure of what to say to each
other. After explaining the nature of the
situation, they were granted a reprieve from a
potentially extreme quarantine period and allowed
to head home. With all evidence of what had
happened out in the ice destroyed, there was no
work to talk about. That left talking about the
weather, or talking about the deeply personal
nature of their investigation. The weather
was crap, and neither agent was much for
expressing 'feelings'.
Mulder quietly reflected on the trip,
wondering if Scully felt as he did: that they
had made a huge stride in their partnership.
For the first time, he'd felt the bond of
mutual trust between them. He couldn't help
but feel an electricity of sorts while
Scully was with him in that storage hold. He
didn't know what to think of it, or how to
address it with her. There was only one way
he could put it: He'd been hot.
For the first time, he felt like their
partnership could be a lasting thing. Not only
did he feel that Scully might actually stick
around, he had sure knowledge that she would
help him in any way possible. It was big news
for him; Now, he just needed to find a way to
tell her that he appreciated her.
"Hey, Mulder?"
He was surprised when Scully address him first.
"Yeah?" He almost whispered.
"How long had it been since you had a steady
partner? You know, before I started spying on
you?" Her voice was soft and friendly.
"About a year. I think I went through four
before you, maybe a couple months between each.
Everytime I thought I'd escaped the horror of
another partner, they'd send me some new idiot
with more muscle than brain and hope he'd just
intimidate me into behaving."
Scully was quiet for a moment. "Did you really
think I was going to be an idiot before you met
me?" She paused. "Jesus, Mulder... Maybe I don't
want to know the answer to that question."
She was looking down at her hands. They were
wringing in her lap, betraying her.
"When I first saw you, I thought you were
unusual." Mulder finally answered, choosing
his words carefully.
Scully looked up at him an quirked an eyebrow,
not sure where he was going.
"I thought you were an enigma. You don't look
like an FBI agent, you look like a teacher.
but you look like you have incredible
intelligence. And, now that I know you, I KNOW
you to be extroadinarily talented and intelligent.
I know that you have a way with a corpse..."
She smiled a bit, lightening the air.
"I know that you're unabashedly loyal, and now,
after the last few days, I know that you'd back
me up in any situation, no matter the level
of craziness or how out-of-control. You know,
Scully, if any of those four last partners had
been out there on the ice with me... They would
have let me die. They would have enjoyed it,
too."
"God, Mulder... So much about your situation is
so disturbing. Sometimes, I just don't know how
to look at it in a positive way. I don't know
what I was expecting before the assignment, but
people treat your department like a joke. They
have no idea the level of danger. It seems like
everyone is out to get you. Even some little
worm in the middle of the arctic manages to
find you and try to kill you. You sure you don't
have a trouble magnet installed somewhere?"
She smiled.
"Oh, my trouble magnet? I left it at home in my
other purse."
Scully laughed lightly. "Well, then I guess its
a good thing I was there to save your ass,
Mulder."
"Damn straight," He found himself grinning like
an idiot. "Feel free to save it anytime, partner."
__________________________________________
VI.
"God, Mulder... I think I may have nightmares after
this one." Scully sighed.
"What? You go up against something like Eugene Victor
Tooms, and come out like a ray of sunshine, but a
couple little girls are going to finally mess your
head up for good?" He was incredulous.
They were in yet another non-descript rental car,
driving through unremarkable territory. Their
conversations were always most interesting when there
was nothing else to occupy the time and their
respective attention spans. There were only so many
times two grown adults could play "I Spy" without
throttling each other.
"Well, yeah. I'm not sure what's so surprising about
that." Scully's voice betrayed her own incredulity.
"It's like something out of a horror film, Mulder. Two
seemingly innocent little girls teeming to kill the
adults around them - and, in this case, for no reason
other than 'they wanted to'. I can't think of a more
vulnerable situation. Who do you trust more to NOT
kill you than your kids?"
"I don't know, Scully. I suppose that I would prefer
to compartmentalize the situation. I mean, they're
psychotic and creepy, but they're a rarity. They're a
product of someone else who was psychotic enough to
create them." Mulder thought for a second. "But it
was a little "The Shining" for a minute, wasn't it?"
Scully laughed lightly.
"I suppose, when I have kids, I just want to be able
to sleep without nightmare thoughts of being killed
in dramatic fashion by my own offspring... I'm just
saying - this may have ruined that possibility for
me, for the time being."
Mulder snorted. "Well, its not like you're having
kids tomorrow. Hopefully, we can work out your
woefully unfortunate fear of children before you
decide to make your own."
He was surprised when she reached over and socked
him in the shoulder. It was a solid, resounding punch,
and Mulder couldn't help but laugh out loud.
_____________________________________________________
VII.
She'd been throwing up all morning. Mulder sighed his
frustration at his desk, unsure of what to do. She
thought he hadn't noticed. She'd been leaving for the
restroom intermittently, returning with a sheen of
sweat across her brow and a reddened mouth and cheeks,
fumbling around the desk while trying to hide her
toothbrush. Now approaching the lunch hour, he'd
endured in silence for four hours.
For now, she was typing at her computer, he thought a
little more slowly than normal. Usually, she attacked
her report like a burgler. For now, she was rather
unspirited as she quietly tapped away at the keyboard.
He didn't say anything as he walked up behind her. She
apparently hadn't noticed, and let out a little gasp
when his hand fell to her neck.
"You OK, Scully?" He tried to remain casual.
She cleared her throat. "Just fine, Mulder. What's up?"
"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to take a break
from your regurgitation schedule to catch some lunch."
She peered up at him, unsure of whether he was joking,
or just being especially snide. She didn't answer him,
considering the question rhetorical. When she didn't
say anything, he reached up and ran his hand along
her forehead.
"You're burning up. You need to go home." His voice
was no-nonsense.
"I NEED to finish this report. I'll be fine, Mulder."
She turned back to her computer.
"You're sick. You can finish your report from home if
you feel that strongly about it. C'mon, I'll cover for
you." He smiled.
Finally, her shoulders sagged in resignation. She
silently nodded, conceding the point. It was slow
going while she grabbed her coat and packed up her
papers. Mulder recognized the signs of dehydration.
She'd been throwing up all morning, but he didn't see
any sign of water or any other beverage near her desk.
"I'll drive you home, Scully." He remained casual. He
didn't want to 'spook' her, for lack of a better term.
He knew Scully well enough to know that if she thought
for one second that he was trying to take care of her,
she'd have nothing to do with it.
She opened her mouth to protest, but then shut her
mouth and nodded. As much as she wanted to argue with
him, she knew she had no business driving. She'd taken
enough of a risk driving herself in.
There was only silence, while the agents got to the
car and began making the drive back to Scully's
Georgetown apartment. She laid her head back and
closed her eyes. She could feel Mulder watching her,
his eyes flitting over to check on her at every
available opportunity.
"I know what you're doing, Mulder." It was all she
said.
He didn't know what to say. He'd been caught. He
certainly couldn't deny his mother-hen tendencies.
It was rare that anyone got to witness the 'gentler
side' of Fox Mulder. Fact was, it'd been a long time
since he'd had anyone he cared enough to take care of.
"Thank you." She smiled.
They didn't speak again for almost an hour. He let
her set the pace getting into the apartment, and he
went to the kitchen to start the tea kettle without
prompt, while she changed her clothes. By the time
she was back, he had a cup of tea ready for her, and
she looked at him with surprise.
"Thanks, Mulder." Her smile was tight-lipped.
"I just thought I'd make up for last time - you never
got to experience my superior tea-making skills." He
waggled his eyebrows jokingly.
Her laugh was stilted and stiff. She crooked her head,
signalling him to sit on the couch with her.
"Everything Ok, Scully?" He was a little concerned.
It was clear that something was bothering her.
Scully sipped from her tea and sighed. "I'm fine,
Mulder. But, I think you should know that I wasn't a
few days ago."
Looking at her more closely, Mulder could see the
faint outlines of bruising left over from her ordeal
with Jack Willis. At that second, it was all falling
into place: She'd had enough. He momentarily panicked;
was she going to seek reassignment? It occurred to him
that he'd never asked her if she was OK, and her last
couple months with him had been a horror show: Luther
Lee Boggs, her father passing away, his being shot and
the subsequent recovery. The run-in with the Kindred
and almost being raped in an extremely callous ploy.
Finally, being beaten and held captive by a man who
looked like an ex-lover, but who was actually a
hardened criminal. He hadn't asked her if she was OK.
"You Ok, Mulder?" She was looking at him questioningly.
"Yeah, Yeah..." He was absent. "I should be asking you
that. I should HAVE been asking you."
"Its like nothing I've ever experienced, Mulder. I
was joking when I said that things like the Eve twins
would give me nightmares. They have nothing to do with
my life, but I never had any notion that the job could
turn so personal." She was looking down at her hands,
her usual nervous behavior.
"How do you feel about continuing?" He was being
cautious.
"I feel fine about the job. But I've never been 'fine'
in my personal life, Mulder. I don't handle personal
issues well. I feel robbed. I never wanted anything in
my life more than to know that I made my Father proud.
And I'm serious, Mulder, when he told me that he didn't
approve of my career choice, I thought the world was
going to end. All I wanted was for him to say I was
good, to see that I am good at what I do."
Mulder thought for a moment. "I thought you'd come to
peace with that."
Now, tears were welling up in her eyes. Mulder thought
back to the hearing with Colton. This time, though, he
had no one to hate. However, he could feel a little
disappointed that Scully's father never thought she
needed his approval. He'd always had the impression that
the Scully family was the epitome of normalcy. He was
starting to feel otherwise, though.
"Honestly, I don't think I ever will. If it didn't come
from his mouth, its just not the same. And Boggs
really tapped into that. He knew it was eating away at
me, and he just fed it. All those other things that
went down - I don't care about what happened with the
Kindred or with Jack. They hurt, but I will never get
over the way I feel about my relationship with my
father.
"But its not as though its been a particularly easy
couple months for you either, Mulder. I don't need to be
coddled. I just wanted to tell you that I was thinking
about taking some time..."
Now he was really panicking. His heart practically fell
out his pants. His fear must have shown itself on his
face; Scully chuckled and shook her head.
"I'm not being reassigned, Mulder. I was thinking more
like a week."
He resisted the urge to grab his chest, but did heave
a sigh of relief. He nodded.
"I think I can handle a week. God, Scully... I don't
think I could handle going back to the minutae of
dealing with partners like the ones that came before
you."
"I just need some time to get my legs back under me.
I also need to spend some time with my Mom. She's
strong, but she's not handling losing Dad very well
at all. I was thinking I would take her out to San
Diego for the week next week. We spent a lot of time
there when I was growing up, and Dad always loved the
sea. I think it'll help Mom feel close to him again."
"I think that's a good idea, Scully." He smiled.
Nothing more to say, the agents both turned toward
the TV, watching nothing particularly interesting in
the easy silence of the room.
_____________________________________________________
VIII.
Both of them were packing their backs with fervor,
amost glee. Clothes were thrown into the suitcases in
haste. They couldn't wait to get out from the
overwhelmingly white walls of the quarantine facility.
Mulder watched Scully while she packed up her area,
just next to his. She was still a little weak, having
been much more depleted by the vicious little green
bugs than himself. She finished with the suitcase and
zipped it shut with flare.
Turning around, Scully smiled up at him. Mulder thought
to himself that it'd been awhile since he'd seen her
smile about anything. It was nice. Clearing his throat,
he walked around to close the distance between them.
"Thank God we're getting out of here, Mulder. I guess
I won't have to kill you afterall." Her grin broadened
with the joke.
"Ha-ha, Scully. You know, you're no picnic in a 10 by
10 room, either. We probably would have had to settle
for a shoot out if either of us had our guns."
"You know I'm a better shot, Mulder..." She said it
in mock seriousness.
"Very funny." But he was laughing. It was amazing how
the anticipation of being out of the room was enough
to lighten the air between them. Both agents had spent
their time in "solitary confinement" finding mundane
tasks to pass the day. They ran out of things to talk
about at approximately day one and a half. There were
no windows, no TV's, no games. It was prison, without
an exercise room or courtyard. Mulder couldn't help but
think that this might be someone's idea of punishment
for their mettling.
"Just think, Mulder. In just a couple days, we'll be
our old selves again. We'll be allowed to wear real
clothes. I won't have to subject you to the horror
that is the untamed rats' nest on my head anymore. I
can wear make-up. We can BOTH wear deodorant..." They
both sighed.
"I'm sorry I got you into this, Scully." He was
suddenly wistful.
"You've already apologized, though you don't need to.
I know I've already said it, too: It's my job, Mulder.
It may not be what I signed up for, but you don't see
me running." She smiled.
"You know, Scully, you could have no hair, wear no
deodorant, have no nose... and you'd still be my best
friend."
"That's somehow the most endearing and disturbing
thing anyone's ever said to me, Mulder."
"Well, what else did you expect from me?"
___________________________________________________
IX.
"Maybe you should go, Scully." Mulder wouldn't look
at her.
When he wouldn't answer her calls, she went to his
apartment, finding him sitting, thinking, doing
nothing. Only 24 hours had passed since he called to
tell her the X-files had been shut down. Her initial
thought was that he was in some sort of shock. However,
he seemed to be angry with her.
"Can you at least tell me what I did, Mulder? I think I
deserve a little better than a 'screw-you' before we
part ways." He wanted to play rude? She was an old pro
at that game.
"There's nothing to say, Scully. Nothing at all. Just
get out. Go teach at Quantico. Go find the life you're
supposed to have. I'll be fine." He was remarkably
despondant. His words were monotonous.
Scully felt her ire rising, uncontrolled. "Did it ever
occur to you that I might be worried about myself?
You know, I'm not a robot. I don't mindlessly drone
about my assignment only to pick up and move to the
next one with no care. I care about you. And I worry
about myself, because I don't have the same interest
in doing something else. I wasn't lying when I said
I wouldn't do it for anyone else but you."
That got his attention. She saw a flash in his eyes,
but he sighed and quickly averted his gaze. "Just go,
Scully. There's nothing I can do."
She couldn't think of what to say. Finally, she
decided it wasn't worth the fight. "Fine, Mulder.
Give me a call when you're ready to be yourself again.
I just want you to know that this last case hurt me
as much as it hurt you. It left me with just as many
questions. You know, Deep Throat died for me. He
saved my life. It bothers me that you don't seem to
care that he died for you, too."
She silently let herself out of the apartment, leaving
Mulder sitting on the couch, staring after her.
__________________________________________________
End Season I
Please send feedback! tess.moore.xf@gmail.com
Thanks for reading! I sincerely hope you enjoyed!
Tessa
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